The Price Of The Vision.
Our soul's personal history with God is often an account of the death of our heroes. Over and over again God has to remove our friends to put Himself in their place, and that is when we falter, fail, and become discouraged. Let us think about this personally, when the person died who represented for us all that God was, did we give up on everything in life? Did we become ill or disheartened? Or did we do as Isaiah did and see the Lord?
Our vision of God is dependent upon the condition of our character. Our character determines whether or not truth can even be revealed to us. Before we can say, "I saw the Lord," there must be something in our character that conforms to the likeness of God. Until we are born again and really begin to see the kingdom of God, we only see from the perspective of my own biases. What we need is God's surgical procedure, His use of external circumstances to bring about internal purification.
Our priorities must be God First, God second, and God third, until our life is continually face to face with God and no one else is taken into account whatsoever. Your prayer will then be, "In all the world there is no one but You, dear God; there is no one but You."
Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to love up to the vision.