Children Are Too Funny

When you see these, look out![/caption]I'm always tickled by the things children say. It's funny to see how their little minds observe and process information.  Being around young children most days, I'm never short on entertainment.The following are things my daughter and nieces have said that caught me completely off guard and either made me burst out laughing or I almost hurt myself trying to hold in my laughter.

One liners

Jireh (4 years old): Mommy, I like your wig! (Of course, she got the straight face right before I burst out laughing.)

Brielle (4 years old): I didn't even know it was going to be this hot until I was watching the news, and they said it was going to be hot today. Yep, they said like 100 degrees. (What 4-year-old do you know that sits around talking about watching the news?)

Moriah (4 years old):  I miss coming over here. (She's now in summer camp.)  I miss the little kids. (Uhhh, you ARE a little kid.)

Jireh: Ma'am, can you move your feet so I can sit down, ma'am? (Ma'am?)

Here are some that they all (the younger ones) have pretty bad: (to each other) 

• You are NOT a grown-up. You don't tell me what to do.
• Stop acting jealous! You don't have to be jealous of me!
• You don't have to share with me, but don't come asking for none (any) of mine!

Allayna (8 years old): Wait a minute! You had an afro yesterday. Is that a wig or a weave?

Allayna (when I pick her up from school): Can you let me out at the mailbox? I want to walk up the driveway.  You know, just to have a minute of "me" time. (Me time? At 8 years old?)

Conversation #1

Jireh is tearing up because she's about to get a shot.

Me: Jireh, I tell you what.  If you don't cry, I'll take you to Yogurt Mountain.

Tears stop. Jireh: Yogurt Mountain? But Mommy, what if one little tear goes down like this? (She traces from the corner of her eye down her face.)

Me:  Nope.  No tears period.

Jireh: Yogurt Mountain AND bowling?

Now, I'm not sure where bowling came in but because she mentioned the possibility of "one little tear" falling, I thought for sure she was going to cry.

Me: Sure.  Yogurt Mountain AND bowling.

Jireh gets the shots (2), and I'll be dogged!  This girl let those tears well, but she did NOT let them fall! So, I took her to Yogurt Mountain.  Now, I owe her a game of bowling.

Conversation #2

Moriah: I remember when I was up in Heaven and God was just laughing at me!

Me: Hold on. Say what, Moriah?

Moriah: (laughing) For real.  God thinks I'm so funny!

Me: How do you know?

Moriah: Because He told me when I was in Heaven. Then, he put me in my momma's belly. I don't know why He did that.

She goes on laughing like her life is a practical joke between God and her.

Conversation #3

Jireh: Mommy....

Me: Yes, Jireh?

Jireh: I love my family.

Me: (melting) We love you, too!

Jireh: I have a LLLOOOTTT of cousins and a lot of uncles and aunties.

Me: Yep, you really do!

Jireh: I have a lot of sisters, too!

Me (caught off guard): Yeah, you do.

Jireh: I want a little sister or brother.

Me: Well, maybe you can go to your sister's and play with your nephew.

Jireh: When Baby Rylee came, Momo said, "Jireh, I'm a big sister now." I said, "So what. I'm an auntie, and you're not going to be an auntie for a lllloooonnnngggg time!"

Conversation #4

Jireh's older sister was pregnant.

Jireh: Mommy, I'm going to be an auntie?

Me: Yep, you sure are.  And your nephew is going to say, "Auntie Jireh! Auntie Jireh! Can I have some of your milk?" Then, what are you going to tell him?

Jireh: Lil boy, sit your butt down before I whoop you!

Conversation #5

This just happened yesterday. My alarm clock went off at 3:45am. Jireh comes walking into my bedroom.

Jireh: Mommy, what are you doing?

Me:Time for me to get ready for work.

Jireh: NOW?

Me: Yes

Jireh: (like I'm lying) I thought you had to go to work in the morning!

Me: I do!  It IS morning. It's just still dark. Go back to sleep. The sun will be coming up in a little bit.

Jireh: Where's my mask? I don't want the sunlight to wake me up.

These are just a few of my laughable moments. And I cherish each of them because pretty soon, my daughter and my siblings' children will be pre-teens, teens, and adults. These kinds of stories from the mouths of adults aren't as amusing.