5 Things Only Tuscaloosa Townies Know About a New UA Semester

Students are moving in to their dorms and apartments in preparation for a new semester at the University of Alabama and if you're a true Tuscaloosa townie, you know what that means...

1. Forget Trying to Shop at Target for the Next Month

I made the egregious error of trying to hit up Target last weekend and was quickly reminded that the students are back. There were SO MANY freshman filling their carts with dorm supplies that it took me a solid 30 minutes to check out.

2. Good Luck Trying to Find a Parking Spot Downtown

Tuscaloosa's population sees a significant increase every time the students return, and that means that the days of just driving downtown and finding a clutch parking spot are OVER.

3. Prepare for a Wait at Restaurants That's Longer Than a CVS Receipt

Parents are moving their kids into dorms and then taking everyone out for one last family meal. College students are hitting up brunch to battle hangovers. You know what this means? This means you're going to have to get to your favorite restaurant as soon as they open the doors unless you want to wait 45 minutes for a table.

4. Get Ready for MORE Traffic

25,000 people are coming to a city that has more roadwork than I have childhood trauma. You're going to need to add more time to your commute if you plan on getting to work on time because traffic in Tuscaloosa is about to get BUCK wild.

5. Anticipate an Existential Crisis

Nothing will make you confront your own mortality like seeing a ton of young and beautiful people. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown when I realized I was shopping for anti-aging eye cream while these young kids were getting a new pair of shower shoes. We are old people now, y'all.