This brings a new meaning to the term "Porch Pirate”. Hear me out. How would you feel coming home and finding your whole porch gone? Like poof…gone!

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Well in Marion County Florida a 51-year-old man was arrested for attempting to steal a porch!

Yes a porch, not the packages on the porch, the porch itself.

Courtesy of The Detroit Metro Times
Courtesy of The Detroit Metro Times

Deputies responded to a burglary in progress and found Keith Hill, 51,  not only in the home but also dismantling the porch from the house.

Courtesy of The Marion County sheriff Office
Courtesy of The Marion County sheriff Office
Mr. Hill was arrested and held on a $12,000.00 bond.

Of course, now I wonder has this ever happened in Alabama? I mean this is one for the record books.

Well, Alabama has not disappointed me and said hold my beer. In 2013, in Opelika, a woman reported her porch was stolen. Yes, an 8-foot by 10-foot wooden porch was taken from her home.

Outlined Alabama US state on grade school chalkboard

So is this a common phenomenon? Have I led such a sheltered life that I never realized porches were being stolen? I have heard of packages vanishing but never the entire porch.

The answer is yes this really does happen. In Detroit, a resident stepped out of his home and fell 5 feet because his entire brick stoop and stairs vanished overnight.  I was surprised by the number of incidents I actually found online.

So my fellow Alabamians, please watch yourselves when you step out of your home in the morning, you may find yourself a victim of a true “Porch Pirate”.

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