Alabama resident Dewayne Guyton shared his own horror story with me. Now, I’m sharing it with you. Do not read this in bed.
Get our free mobile app

“ Last night I was getting ready for bed and I saw it. I was at the corner of the bed with enough room that I brushed the corner of my bed. I had been standing there for a hot minute. I look and see a spider, the size of a house cat, on the corner of the bed. It looked like it had been powerlifting a Volkswagen. I called my wife over to my side of the bed to show her this demon spawn. I’m yelling ‘KILL IT!  KILL IT! KILL IT AND ITS WHOLE FAMILY’!

That spider appeared to be laughing at me. My wife was laughing at me. My wife was hyperventilating as she grabbed a little band-aid box to KILL IT.
I screamed, ‘grab a baseball bat, grab the shotgun and call the Navy SEALS’! This thing looked huge. It looked like he was texting his friends to come over to work out, drink Red Bull and take steroids. Here I am a grown man screaming like a little pansy and my wife is giggling and convulsing with laughter.

She finally finds time from her giggle-fest to beat the spider with a tiny bandaid box. I'm standing there feeling all emasculated and vulnerable. I feel as if every hair on my chest has suddenly turned pink. And what little testosterone I have left is taking a vacation to go to a Taylor Swift concert. The good news is I was able to verify the eight-legged furry freak of nature was indeed deceased”.

Spider Fun Facts:
-Arthropods are found on every continent except Antarctica.
-Spiders are nearsighted.

Household Cleaning Hacks

LOOK: The most popular biblical baby names

To determine the most popular biblical baby names, Stacker consulted the name origin site Behind the Name and the Social Security Administration's baby names database then ranked the top 50 names from Behind the Name's Biblical Names origins list of 564 names, based on how many babies had been given these names in 2019. Click through to find out which biblical names have stood the test of time.

LOOK: The most expensive weather and climate disasters in recent decades

Stacker ranked the most expensive climate disasters by the billions since 1980 by the total cost of all damages, adjusted for inflation, based on 2021 data from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). The list starts with Hurricane Sally, which caused $7.3 billion in damages in 2020, and ends with a devastating 2005 hurricane that caused $170 billion in damage and killed at least 1,833 people. Keep reading to discover the 50 of the most expensive climate disasters in recent decades in the U.S.