Are Abstinent Men a Turn-Off?
Apparently, former professional footballer Tim Tebow and his girlfriend former Miss USA Olivia Culpo have broken up, and the cause is said to be the fact that Tebow is abstinent while Culpo.... Uhhhh.... Wants a little bit. So, the question now is: Are abstinent men really a turn-off?
For those of us who claim to be Christian, it's abundantly clear that we are supposed to abstain from sex until marriage. Do we all follow that rule? Of course not. However, I find it interesting that we are commended for upholding our convictions when it comes to some "sins" but not others.
Ask someone to go to the casino. "Nooooo! I do not gamble."
"Oh. Okay. That's cool. Actually, I probably need to stop, too. Well, how about meeting me for drinks when you get off Friday?"
"Nah, I don't drink."
"You DON'T? Oh, that's GOOD! I've been looking for someone like you. Look, I won a free room at a beach resort. Wanna go on vacation with me?"
"Is it one room or two?"
"Well, it's one room, but it has two beds."
(We all know that two beds in one room means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but having sex in one and sleeping in the other!)
"Probably not a good idea. I'm abstinent."
"So, you mean to tell me you're not having sex?"
"Not at all? Not even...."
"Not at all."
"Oh, okay. Well, I don't want to disrespect you. So, I'll leave you alone."
When it's a man doing the pressing, we usually see him as a hound. And when he decides to leave the woman alone, he's a jerk. But if it's the woman doing the pressing and the man is turning her down, he's seen as an idiot... Or gay!
Actually, gay is probably the first thought. Never mind a spiritual conviction that causes him to want to do what he sees as right. He can't even "value himself" the way women do. Oh, he's not worth waiting for or getting to know before becoming intimately involved. Uh-Uh! Turn YOU down, and he's gay OR he's playing games. He has a woman/wife but doesn't want you to know. He just CAN'T be abstinent!
It's funny how we can quote Lyfe Jennings "Don't be a nickel looking for a dime" when it comes to ourselves and our standards. We have no problem turning down the opportunity to be a jumpoff. We'll go through bad relationship after bad relationship, decide not to be sexually active in the next one, and will express that to potential suitors with no problem. Men usually have no problem accepting that fact because it's often a game to them to see how they can convince you to give in. If that same woman who said she was abstinent enters a relationship with a man who is abstinent, the moment she decides she doesn't want to be abstinent anymore, he would be ridiculed if he chooses not to give in. Why is that?
Why do women claim to want a men who want more than just our bodies but laugh at the first one to come along? "Girl, he is so lame!" It's no question why so many of us are single. If we don't even know what we want, how can we expect anyone else to give it to us? Or is it a character flaw of our own? Do we really want to be respected while irresistible? Is a man that turns us down ultimately a turn-off? If so, why?
I commend Tebow for standing fast in the convictions of his faith, even amid criticism and public scrutiny . At some point, he will find the one who appreciates him for who he is, and hopefully, he'll avoid the relationship hurdles that come along with settling. Furthermore, a man that thinks enough of himself to not even share himself with a woman he loves is one who probably won't want to share himself with other women once he finally takes that step with the one he loves. Something to think about.