Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small--town prosecuting attorney call his first witness. A grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and ask, Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

She responded, Why, yes, I do know, Mr. Williams. I've kown you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more a two--bit paper pusher. Oh yes, I know you.