If she sounds sexy, more times than not, she isn't. Generally, the ladies who call into radio stations, in the hopes of luring the DJ into some kind of rendezvous, fall into one of these categories:

1) Someone Richard Simmons should be praying next to.

2) Stalker.

3) 14-year-old Lolita who are prepared to testify in court.

This is just one of the things I've learned from all of my years in radio.