While I'd never think of abusing a little kid, I can't lie like I've never thought about sweep kicking one. Yesterday, was another of the days I considered it. What had happened was...

I took my daughter to her gymnastics class, and there was this little girl with these shoes.

I'm sure they were cute to whomever bought them, but after being up for 14 hours, I'd started approaching my time of irritability-- you know, that time before you go to bed where you're exhausted and every little thing gets on your nerves. Yeah, I was there. Had it been a sunny afternoon in the park where the squeak could blend in with other outside noise, I might not have even noticed; but considering the fact that I was already tired and it would be a few hours before I could go to bed, I felt like I'd been inserted into this episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

All I ask is if you ever see these shoes in the store, leave them where they are.  Other adults around the world thank you in advance.